Review Noah

I'm in the middle my first exam week, but I'll take a little bit of time to write a new post. Recently my girlfrien , a friend and me went to see Noah. I will post the review under the cut, as there are a bunch of spoilers in my review. Enjoy !




So, Noah. The movie with Russel Crowe, Emma Watson and a bunch of other good actors. How could such bad actors make such a bad movie? I thought it was a terrible movie, and I'll tell you why.
The movie starts out pretty decent, giving us a short introduction to the story. It tells the story of Cain and Abel and... Seth? Now I haven't read the bible in a long while, but I never heard about the Seth guy. Confusing new story aside, the movie shows a small part of Noah's dad blessing him with some magic snake skin. Sure, whatever. As I said, the beginning of the movie isn't that bad. So, Noah get's his message from god, doesn't understand it and decides to visit his grandfather (Anthony Hopkins). Who also possesses some kind of magic because he can make a child sleep by just touching, and then later in the movies magically heals Ila's (Emma Watson) womb, so now she can have children. After the visit to granddad the movie takes a turn for the worst. The stone-golems decide to help Noah build his ark. Stone-Golems, WHY!? It doesn't add to the movie and is an unnecessary excuse as to why the ark was build quickly, so they didn't need new actors. The humans, which are not allowed on the ark, are ofcourse pissed. At this point the movie is already taking too long and takes a turn for the worst. One of the human wears a mask made for welding, while making primitive swords. Then in the final battle they suddenly have processed steel plates? What? Anyway all this goes by. Ila gives birth to 2 twin girls, meaning they'll be able to repopulate the earth by means of incest. Instead of killing them and leaving the animals be, he lets it happen. After drowning the entire population of earth.They come upon an island. Because he failed to kill the babies Noah seperates himself from his family, and becoms and alcholic? I don't know what he was doing in that part of the movie, but it seemed a whole lot like he was drunk. Everybody forgives eachother, the end.

I give this movie a 4/10. Good actors can't save a bad movie.